IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Health is wealth". To what extent would you agree ?

The saying "
health
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 is
wealth
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" is very apt as good
health
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 comes from a good physique that enables
one
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 to enjoy the pleasures and manage the challenges of
life
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.
health
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 here comprises the mental and the physical.
Thus
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 I agree that good
health
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 is actually
wealth
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 as it allows
one
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 to lead an existence without being hampered by disabling circumstances
such
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 as disability (both mental and physical), or medical conditions
such
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 as diabetes, cancer and other potentially fatal diseases. A disabled person faces a lot of challenges n
life
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 including having to depend on another for basic needs and perform simple tasks. The situation is even more daunting if you are paralyzed and mentally unfit to lead a normal existence.
One
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 would not be able to earn an income becoming a burden to family and friends (though the latter are usually encouraging and supportive). Many cancer patients and others who suffer from debilitating sickness spend huge amounts of money on treatment.
In addition
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 to that, they have to undergo very painful medical procedures. A cancer patient
for example
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 typically has to undergo chemotherapy and radiotherapy which have undesirable side effects
such
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 as vomiting, hair loss, weakness and other unpleasant symptoms. Despite all that, there is no guarantee that
one
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 would survive
such
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 sickness.
Thus
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, our good physical and mental well-being provides us with the opportunity to enjoy
life
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 without any hindrances. The "
wealth
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"
one
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 derives from good
health
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 is actually a
life
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 free from circumstances that afflict us in some way and
hence
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, affect our happiness and comfort. There are many people in
this
Linking Words
 world who are extremely wealthy but
due to
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 poor
health
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, they are unable to enjoy their material coins. Their daily performance is hampered by physical and mental incapacitation and
hence
Linking Words
, they can be actually considered "poor". A materially poor man or woman but rich in terms of
health
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 actually can be termed as "wealthy' as he or she is not hampered by sickness. the latter does not have to fork out money for treatment and can enjoy a peaceful and blissful
life
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. In short, good
health
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 is
wealth
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 as no amount of money can cure
one
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 of
terrible
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the terrible
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 sicknesses. Good
health
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 ensures a fulfilling and enriching
life
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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