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Band 4

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of thinking risk, outweigh the disadvantage.

#people #risks #lives #risk
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
people
 take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in their daily life and working life. It is more
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 to
suksersing
Correct your spelling
suckering
 their deems. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I would like to
explaine
Correct your spelling
explain
 how
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
dissition
Correct your spelling
disposition
 affect
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 life and their profession. First of all,
people
 think facing to
risk
 can get more benefits to their income
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 sort of
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 we have to take
serious
Add an article
the serious
show examples
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 successors in personal or official careers. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example , famous author J.K. Roling wrote a novel but no one
care
Wrong verb form
cared
show examples
 about that , but she never
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 up
then
 she spend some money to print copies of
novel
Add an article
the novel
show examples
 and gave it to
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
 without taking money. One week after most of the readers try to find that novel, and it becomes
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 most
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 book in the world. If she
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 up her thoughts may be
sucsers
Correct your spelling
success
 is not in her carrier. Bytheway , some of
risks
Add an article
the risks
show examples
 not only affect
Correct article usage
a persons
show examples
persons
Change the noun form
person
show examples
poffesion
Correct your spelling
profession
, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 lots of health issues ,
that is
 why some
people
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 getting
risk
 is not
nessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to get health issues.
Example
Change preposition
For example
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, cement
companys
Correct your spelling
companies
 produce lots of cement production for their income in
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cause
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
 most of their
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
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 lung problems and respiratory problems,
face
Add an article
the face
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that kind of situation they have to spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 health issues.
May be
Correct your spelling
Maybe
show examples
 they have to face
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
 union actions.
Overall
, taking a
risk
 can get lots of positive things than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negatives. If we can make
nessassary
Correct your spelling
necessary
methord
Correct your spelling
method
 to
redusing
Correct your spelling
reducing
 risks, if someone can
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fair
risk
 achievement programme
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 can get
sucserse
Correct your spelling
success
 than the
risk
.
Submitted by dilinimenik on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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