IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There is an increasing population on the planet, and people are running out of water, and food. To what consequences may overpopulation lead? In your opinion, what measures can be taken to fight overpopulation?

Overpopulation
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 is becoming one of the most serious problems in the world. As the number of
people
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 on our planet continues to grow, the demand for basic resources
such
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 as water, food, and housing increases rapidly.
This
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 can lead to several negative consequences.
Firstly
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,
overpopulation
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 can cause
poor quality
Add a hyphen
poor-quality
show examples
 housing in large cities. When too many
people
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 live in one area, the government struggles to provide enough homes with proper heating, clean water, and healthy food.
As a result
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, many
people
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 live in small, crowded apartments with bad living conditions. These poor conditions may
also
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 lead to serious health problems among citizens.
Secondly
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, overcrowded areas often experience a higher rate of crime. In many cases, young
people
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 cannot find jobs and feel hopeless about their future.
This
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 situation can push them toward criminal activities,
such
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 as theft and violence, to survive or feel powerful. In my opinion, there are several ways to solve the problem of
overpopulation
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.
First,
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the government should provide essential housing and healthcare for all citizens. If
people
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 live in healthy and safe conditions, society will become more stable.
Second,
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one of the most effective strategies to reduce
overpopulation
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 is family planning. By,Educating
people
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 about birth control and helping families plan the number of children they have, population growth can be controlled. In conclusion,
overpopulation
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 leads to serious issues
such
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 as poor housing and higher crime rates.
However
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, with proper government support and family planning programs, it is possible to manage and reduce its negative effects.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points, especially when discussing the consequences of overpopulation. This will enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one point to the next. Using clearer transitions between paragraphs would help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
The introduction clearly identifies overpopulation as a serious problem and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay well with distinct paragraphs for each main point, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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