Nowadays, more teenagers want to become famous actors or singers. Why do you think this is happening ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

#teenagers #actors #singers #development

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The development of social media makes

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

a famous actor or singer easier than in the past.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is the dream job of many people, and

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is caused by

dream

Add an article

the dream

a dream

show examples

of becoming famous, and rich easily with little effort. In many

humans

Change noun form

humans'

human's

show examples

opinions,

this

Linking Words

trend may harm

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

development.

To begin

Linking Words

with, not investing too much time,

while

Linking Words

they can be received an ideal life with fame, and wealth,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is one of the most common reasons for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

First,

Linking Words

they do not how the stars

training

Wrong verb form

train

show examples

or their special talent.

Second,

Linking Words

they lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

knowledge about high competition in the entertainment industry, and minority successes,

hence

Linking Words

they think it is

easily

Replace the word

easy

show examples

to become an idol.

For example

Linking Words

, Michael Jackson is the most popular singer in pop music,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

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most people do not know he spends a large amount of his time

to create

Change the verb form

creating

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

new audio and has trained since being a child.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it can have numerous negative impacts on teenagers. Their simple awareness can not guard

all

Change preposition

against all

show examples

risks, and even worse they can face up with unemployment because of spending too much time on becoming famous without success.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they do not how much money should be spent to create a new entertainment product, which can cause a financial burden.

For instance

Linking Words

, millions of music video are uploaded to social media every day ,

Linking Words

nevertheless

Add a comma

,nevertheless

show examples

a few of them is popular, and

Change the article

show examples

artist can earn money from them.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the dream of becoming a famous actor or singer is not wrong, but adolescents should consider

cautiously

Correct pronoun usage

it cautiously

show examples

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

it may harm

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their growth.

Submitted by duongducanh06 on Fri Feb 03 2023

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Nowadays, more teenagers want to become famous actors or singers. Why do you think this is happening ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

Your opinion

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development

Today food often travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only ate food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.