In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for fewyears, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss and give your opinion.

This
topic is telling about in many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new
teachers
and
doctors
should work in rural
areas
for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
my opinion,
teachers
and
doctors
want to work in urban cities not in rural
areas
because
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
can
earn
Change the verb form
earns
show examples
handsomely. Rural
areas
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not provide that kind of handsome salary.
Nevetheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, if they are working in rural
areas
government
should
also
give them good shelter.
As a consequence
, good schools and medical facilities should have to be available in both urban cities and rural
areas
.
Moreover
,
doctors
and
teachers
are not responsible for
this circumstances
Change the determiner
this circumstance
these circumstances
show examples
but
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
government
should have to be blamed. In conclusion, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
transforming
the jobs of good
doctors
and
teachers
they should have to give
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount of salary.
Furthermore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should have to build good schools and medical facilities in rural
areas
injustice should not have to be
done
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in rural
areas
.
Submitted by shoeb.ontario on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: