The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee.

Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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In the diagram life cycle of a honey bee is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shown. In
general
Add a comma
,general
show examples
this
Linking Words
cycle takes thirty-four to thirty-six
days
Use synonyms
. The cycle starts when females lay their
eggs
Use synonyms
.
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
they lay one or two
eggs
Use synonyms
once
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every three
days
Use synonyms
.
Thoose
Correct your spelling
Those
eggs
Use synonyms
hatch after nine or ten
days
Use synonyms
depending on environmental and
genetical
Replace the word
genetic
show examples
variations. After hatching of the
Use synonyms
eggs
Add a comma
,eggs
show examples
it took five
days
Use synonyms
for nymphs to get out of their
eggs
Use synonyms
. Since
then
Linking Words
they start emerging
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
young
adults
Use synonyms
slowly. The nymphs can moult three times as they grow and in
general
Add a comma
,general
show examples
this
Linking Words
happens in fifteen
days
Use synonyms
. It can be understood that they have become young
adults
Use synonyms
by looking
stripes
Change preposition
at stripes
show examples
on their
back
Fix the agreement mistake
backs
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
stripes have emerged it means
thatb
Correct your spelling
that
the nymphs have become young
adults
Use synonyms
.When they become young
adults
Use synonyms
they have just one more step left for being a mature honey
bee
Fix the agreement mistake
bees
show examples
. That
last
Linking Words
step takes four
days
Use synonyms
to become an adult. After being
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
females start laying their
eggs
Use synonyms
in three
days
Use synonyms
and they continue their life as adult honey bees.
Submitted by robertasottile.rbst on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words days, eggs, adults with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • life cycle
  • laying of eggs
  • queen bee
  • hatch into larvae
  • rapid growth
  • develop into pupae
  • significant transformation
  • emergence of the adult bee
  • matures fully
  • cyclical nature
  • colony’s survival
  • reproduction process
  • subsequent generations
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