IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Today’s teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#today’s #teenagers #lives #generations #answers
Nowadays, most communities believe that young
people
's lives are full of stress.
nonetheless
, some others think living is easier for teenagers. In
this
 essay, I will describe both points of view and
at the end
, I will give my opinion. On the one hand, the
last
 century
give
Wrong verb form
has given
show examples
 young
people
 more and more comfortable ways to live.
For instance
, parents do not expect their children to work and make money until 18.
Also
, most of them prepare a good atmosphere at home for their students to study and make themselves educated.
Additionally
, social media and networking sites have made making friends and meeting peers more modest for them.
On the other hand
, most parents apply more and more pressure on their children to study and get high marks in school and college.
This
 way of upbringing brings anxiety to youth life. to illustrate, I have a friend in high school who really imprisoned himself in his room and only studied for the university entrance exam.
nevertheless
, because of his unbelievable stress on exam day, he
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 not present a qualified performance.
In addition
, in our society, the age of marriage has increased
due to
 the unemployment of young
people
 until 30.
furthermore
, they will be parents in their old age and it is hard for old
people
 to tackle children. In conclusion, It is true that technology, the internet, and urban life prepare pleasant tools for an easier life for teenagers.
However
, long-term school, unemployment until 30, marriage in old age, and starting to make money after 25 make their lives full of stress and anxiety.
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coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas more clearly and provide more specific examples to support your points. Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a single main point and that your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your main arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but your response lacks depth and thorough exploration of the topic. Focus on providing a more comprehensive analysis of the viewpoints and include a broader range of relevant ideas and examples to support your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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