Traditional schooling is out of date, boring, and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

A huge evolution has been witnessed in the field of
education
with each passing day. So many professionals want to see an innovative way to conduct schooling, rather than old schooling methods which hamper children's progress. In
this
essay, I will shed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light on some alternative ways to conduct studies,
moreover
, I will elaborate on the reasoning for the traditional
education
defacement. First and Foremost, Online schooling is considered to be a boom in the old-fashioned way of
education
.
This
trend caught attention when
Covid
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
hit in 2020 not only it
impacted
Wrong verb form
impact
show examples
the economy but
also
it was considered to bring an evolution in the educational field.
As a result
, it gave students ample time to focus on their progress at their own pace.
Furthermore
, the culture of punishment in school should be prohibited to some extent. Because
then
pupils do not enjoy going to school there is always a constant fear, which is not good for kids' mental stability. One of the main reasons for the demanded change in traditional
education
is that it is not up to date.
Although
there have been some changes in the educational system still, there are some crucial topics on which children should be educated beforehand are left out.
For instance
, sex
education
is not provided in schools which tends to put mainly youngsters in difficulties
due to
a lack of proper information.
Additionally
, the classic
education
system only teaches to be a bookworm but in reality, it has been witnessed that students who cram the syllabus and get high scores, tend to achieve less in real life.
To sum up
. I would say it is important for our
education
system to
mold
Change the spelling
mould
show examples
according to
society, after all, it is the foundation of mankind's development. It is the duty of both parents and teachers to work in a team to create a successful environment for students
Submitted by sharnthandi7 on

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task response
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic, but it could benefit from more specific examples and a stronger connection between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a generally logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively linked. Additionally, there are some points that could be further elaborated for a more cohesive essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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