Traditional schooling is out of date, boring, and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

#date #child’s #talents #professionals #education #revolution #alternatives #system #harm

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A huge evolution has been witnessed in the field of

education

Use synonyms

with each passing day. So many professionals want to see an innovative way to conduct schooling, rather than old schooling methods which hamper children's progress. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will shed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

light on some alternative ways to conduct studies,

moreover

Linking Words

, I will elaborate on the reasoning for the traditional

education

Use synonyms

defacement. First and Foremost, Online schooling is considered to be a boom in the old-fashioned way of

education

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

trend caught attention when

Covid

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

hit in 2020 not only it

impacted

Wrong verb form

impact

show examples

the economy but

also

Linking Words

it was considered to bring an evolution in the educational field.

As a result

Linking Words

, it gave students ample time to focus on their progress at their own pace.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the culture of punishment in school should be prohibited to some extent. Because

then

Linking Words

pupils do not enjoy going to school there is always a constant fear, which is not good for kids' mental stability. One of the main reasons for the demanded change in traditional

education

Use synonyms

is that it is not up to date.

Although

Linking Words

there have been some changes in the educational system still, there are some crucial topics on which children should be educated beforehand are left out.

For instance

Linking Words

, sex

education

Use synonyms

is not provided in schools which tends to put mainly youngsters in difficulties

due to

Linking Words

a lack of proper information.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the classic

education

Use synonyms

system only teaches to be a bookworm but in reality, it has been witnessed that students who cram the syllabus and get high scores, tend to achieve less in real life.

To sum up

Linking Words

. I would say it is important for our

education

Use synonyms

system to

mold

Change the spelling

mould

show examples

according to

Linking Words

society, after all, it is the foundation of mankind's development. It is the duty of both parents and teachers to work in a team to create a successful environment for students

Submitted by sharnthandi7 on Fri Feb 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic, but it could benefit from more specific examples and a stronger connection between ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a generally logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively linked. Additionally, there are some points that could be further elaborated for a more cohesive essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

314 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
These days, school should focus more on producing young people who have the skills required to join the workforce, rather than focusing on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
It is widely accepted nowadays that proffessions need manpower who is skillful. In this regard some believe that education should be based on these kinds of skills to introduce them to the actual job market rather than concentrating just on written and non-practical courses. This essay will argue that how significantly it is important to have talented and skilled workforce rather than educated only.
5
band
Although family is a powerful influence on child's life, it is also influenced from outside the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals believe that family have a great impact on the children's well being ,but they also think that the outer environment also encourage their life in diggerent way . I agree with the given statement to a great extent because they spend their most of their time with their parents in their earlier age ,but schools and teachers also play a great role in their life in late age . I will these points in details in the upcoming paragraphes along with the conclusion.
<4
band
What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?
There are several positive and negative impacts of living and studying aboard. Living and studying abroad are big decisions which is urgent to be rethinking. Living and studying abroad are correctly with people who want significant challenges. However, this option is not appropriate for people who want to stay in their comfort zone for their lives.
5.5
band
Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h
It is controversial whether some sports and global sporting competitions with the use of violence should be broadcasted on TV or not. I partially agree with this, for they are more likely to promote offensive acts among young people, who often cannot tell the difference between right and wrong, regardless of the fact that the violent sports encourgage people to respect one another.
6
band
You live in a small university town. Last week, you drove to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price. You worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. However, this week, the laptop doesn't even switch on. Write to the store. In your letter: •Tell the store where you live & what happened •Explain the problem with the laptop •State what action you would like the store to take
I'm your new clent. I am renting a university dorm room outside of the city. I need a new laptop immediately and came to your store based on an advertisement. I was delighted when I discovered that you've offered a lot of choices and that your expenses are so reasonable. I used the laptop to work for a while without any problems, but soon after, it suddenly shut down, had very little power and the letters on the keyboard stopped working. I was worried because I had a lot of classes to complete. Mine assignment is done. I'm unable to continue using this laptop, though. Instead of buying me a new laptop to replace my broken one, I just want my money back. Furthermore, there is no transportation system in our region, so I needed to walk a considerable distance to arrive at your store. Secondly, your salespeople don't treat customers well. I hope you will fix this as well. Please return my money immediately. I hope you understand me.

Traditional schooling is out of date, boring, and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

These days, school should focus more on producing young people who have the skills required to join the workforce, rather than focusing on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Although family is a powerful influence on child's life, it is also influenced from outside the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h