Traditional schooling is out of date, boring, and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A huge evolution has been witnessed in the field of

education

Use synonyms

with each passing day. So many professionals want to see an innovative way to conduct schooling, rather than old schooling methods which hamper children's progress. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will shed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

light on some alternative ways to conduct studies,

moreover

Linking Words

, I will elaborate on the reasoning for the traditional

education

Use synonyms

defacement. First and Foremost, Online schooling is considered to be a boom in the old-fashioned way of

education

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

trend caught attention when

Covid

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

hit in 2020 not only it

impacted

Wrong verb form

impact

show examples

the economy but

also

Linking Words

it was considered to bring an evolution in the educational field.

As a result

Linking Words

, it gave students ample time to focus on their progress at their own pace.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the culture of punishment in school should be prohibited to some extent. Because

then

Linking Words

pupils do not enjoy going to school there is always a constant fear, which is not good for kids' mental stability. One of the main reasons for the demanded change in traditional

education

Use synonyms

is that it is not up to date.

Although

Linking Words

there have been some changes in the educational system still, there are some crucial topics on which children should be educated beforehand are left out.

For instance

Linking Words

, sex

education

Use synonyms

is not provided in schools which tends to put mainly youngsters in difficulties

due to

Linking Words

a lack of proper information.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the classic

education

Use synonyms

system only teaches to be a bookworm but in reality, it has been witnessed that students who cram the syllabus and get high scores, tend to achieve less in real life.

To sum up

Linking Words

. I would say it is important for our

education

Use synonyms

system to

mold

Change the spelling

mould

show examples

according to

Linking Words

society, after all, it is the foundation of mankind's development. It is the duty of both parents and teachers to work in a team to create a successful environment for students

sharnthandi7Fri Feb 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic, but it could benefit from more specific examples and a stronger connection between ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a generally logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively linked. Additionally, there are some points that could be further elaborated for a more cohesive essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

314 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that the teenagers years are the happiest times pf most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Today, there is an argument between people who believe that living in the teenage period is the most joyful time of every person's life and people who have faith that besides a lot of work in adulthood period, this time is the happiest time of all time. This essay will argue that the teenage years are the best time in each person's life.
7.5
band
Heathcare and education are two important aspects of a nation and its population. Therefore, some people suggest that education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government.
It is irrefutable that a country's growth largely depends on how educated and healthy its citizens are, and therefore some people suggest a free and state-provided healthcare and education system. The burgeoning population and the lack of funds, however, often make it harder for the authorities to bear the expenses. Therefore, I disagree with the opinion stated and believe that an effective solution, in this case, would be to divide the expenditures between the government and the individuals.
7.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Improving human lives should be the most imperative point for science. I entirely agree with this statement, because innovation has made it easy for human beings to communicate with others across the globe and also to navigation easier.
6.5
band
Teenagers should have regulare exams at secondary school as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. Do you agree or disagree?
Teenagers should have regular exams in secondary school to better prepare them for life after graduation. I strongly advocate for this viewpoint, as regular examinations offer crucial practice for future academic endeavours and help cultivate essential skills for the professional world.
6
band
In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their product. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development of children ?
It is argued that supermarkets and fast food restaurants pay schools for advertising their product. This essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe young adults and children should have a possibility to make their own decisions about what they want to eat and school as a public place does not have the right to prohibit any advertising, even junk food. In addition, money for promotion can be used to improve school conditions.

Traditional schooling is out of date, boring, and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people think that the teenagers years are the happiest times pf most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Heathcare and education are two important aspects of a nation and its population. Therefore, some people suggest that education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Teenagers should have regulare exams at secondary school as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their product. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development of children ?