IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for fewyears, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss and give your opinion.

Schools and Hospitals are the basic
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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 for every human being in society to live better, and education is most important for children to grow in life. But nowadays these
education
Replace the word
educational
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 and medical
furnishings
Check wording
facilities
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 are only available in cities when
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to villages. To discuss
Linking Words
further
Punctuation problem
further,
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 in a plethora of states best institutions and medical needs are ready only in towns
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 Some people
discern
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 new teachers and doctors should work in remote areas for a few years, but others believe every person should be free
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
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 than where they work.
Firstly
Linking Words
,faculty and health care centres are very imperative to everyone
Linking Words
Although
Punctuation problem
. Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 academies are available in small villages
as well as
Linking Words
 towns, medical apparatus is not obtained in rural areas.
For instance
Linking Words
, because of
this
Linking Words
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 getting medical ,
To
Fix capitalization
to
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 embark on
this
Linking Words
,
emergency
Correct article usage
the emergency
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 people are prone to many diseases.
Due to
Linking Words
 not getting
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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the treatment
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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 are losing amicable ones. Research conducted by the Times of India divulged that most emergency cases are reported from rural areas
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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not obtaining
Verb problem
there is a lack of
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 medical material.
Secondly
Linking Words
, because of poverty
poor
Punctuation problem
, poor
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 people are not going to corporate hospitals and corporate institutions.
to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem government has to provide these furnishings free of cost. For
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
example
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 most
,
Check wording
communities,community
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community
Check wording
apply
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 children are getting free education and free health services. Not only developed regions but
also
Linking Words
 developing societies are planning to give free study and medical services. In conclusion,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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 I strongly believe that it is very important that newly passed out
teachers
Punctuation problem
teachers,
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
doctors
Punctuation problem
doctors,
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 have to give service for some years to develop their knowledge and communication skills and at the same time,to give service
overall
Linking Words
 to the community
it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
also
Linking Words
 relieves
malignant
Correct article usage
the malignant
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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.

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task response
Your essay has a start and end, and you are clear about your view. But the middle ideas are not strong and not well explained.
coherence
The ideas do not link well. Use simple joining words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'next', 'for example' to show how one point leads to the next.
task response
Give one or two clear ideas for each view and then give a specific example. Do not repeat the same idea many times.
structure
You try to show both sides and end with your own view.
idea
There is effort to use examples from life (even if not perfect).
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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