IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people today, especially in the developed world, are choosing to have fewer children, or none at all. Why is this happening, and do you think it is a good trend?

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Nowadays, couples in rich countries choose to have
one
Use synonyms
 or no child. In
this
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 essay, I will elucidate why I strongly support
this
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 View. The rapid increase in the cost of living is
one
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 of the primary reasons for
this
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 behaviour. Today, the rearing cost of a baby is much more than
an
Correct article usage
the
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 average expenditure of an adult. The cost of providing good education, nourishment and healthcare to a child is skyrocketing. Because of
this
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, many families are facing financial burdens.
Hence
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, they prefer to raise a single child.
For instance
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, In metro cities like Mumbai,
due to
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 an increase in inflation, living expenditure has increased significantly. In comparison to that, the income growth of an individual is quite low. So, couples are quite reluctant to have more than
one
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 offspring.
Also
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,
one
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 of the biggest concerns that many countries are facing today is overpopulation.
As a result
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, basic necessities like food, clothing and shelter are not available to many.
Moreover
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, excessive growth in population has an adverse impact on the environment as well. Forests are being cut down so that shelter and factories can be developed for humans. In order to meet the increasing
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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 of people, new industries are being set up.
Thus
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 contributing to air and water pollution. To exemplify, it is an undeniable fact that, over the past few decades, the emission of greenhouse gases and deforestation has adversely impacted our environment.
This
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 has resulted in an increase in air pollution.
To conclude
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, as the world is facing food and energy shortage crises, controlling the growing population is a must.

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay discusses the reasons why couples in rich countries choose to have one or no child. However, the essay lacks a clear stance on whether this trend is good or not. You should present a balanced view and address both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is fair, but the introduction and conclusion lack clarity. Ensure that your introduction provides a clear overview of the points you will discuss, and your conclusion summarizes your main arguments and provides a final perspective on the topic.
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