IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school ans starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life offers benefits to individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #year #school #ans #university #gain #work #travel #life #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 assert that non-academic
experience
Use synonyms
 through taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 between graduating from school and starting college
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 provides benefits to
students
Use synonyms
 when they come back to school. Is there any merit to
this
Linking Words
 belief? There are two reasons to support
this
Linking Words
 idea:
firstly
Linking Words
, work
experience
Use synonyms
 enables
students
Use synonyms
 to have practical
skills
Use synonyms
 in academic environments and
secondly
Linking Words
, they are likely to gain diverse ideas through travelling. First of all,
students
Use synonyms
 can spread their
thoughts
Use synonyms
 through
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. By way of an example, interacting with local
people
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 encourages
students
Use synonyms
 to have wider and deeper ideas.
According to
Linking Words
 an article in the Asahi Shimbun newspaper that was published
last
Linking Words
 month, many university
students
Use synonyms
 who have
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 in a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 said that communicating with local
people
Use synonyms
 is a good opportunity to have wider
thoughts
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
experience
Use synonyms
 is effective in discussion in school.
Therefore
Linking Words
, taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off to travel provides
students
Use synonyms
 to gain diverse ideas.
Secondly
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 tend to improve their practical
skills
Use synonyms
, which are essential to get high grades in university through job
experience
Use synonyms
. These include problem-solving and time-management
skills
Use synonyms
. In fact, research recently conducted by the Ministry of Education in Japan discovered that
students
Use synonyms
 who have joined an internship and got
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 are three times as likely to graduate with distinction as those who have not.
As a result
Linking Words
, the Ministry has started to encourage
students
Use synonyms
 in Japan to actively take a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 to have job
experience
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are considerable advantages to taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as having a diversity of
thoughts
Use synonyms
 and improving practical
skills
Use synonyms
 in academic environments. We must consider a drastic change, in which young
students
Use synonyms
 can take a
year
Use synonyms
 off and gain
such
Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
 and
thoughts
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ryohei.1015.golf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: