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Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet has transformed lives and economies bit it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The
internet
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 is part of the responsibility of changing
people
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's lives
in addition
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 to the influence of globalisation. It is often argued these factors lead to having identical lifestyles and thoughts all around the world. In my opinion,
i
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I
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 completely disagree with
this
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 point of view because even if the
internet
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 imposes individuals to conform to its own rules real life does not follow the same ones.
To begin
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 with, the
internet
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 has become accessible to everyone irrespective of his/ her origins, locations and interests and eliminates all possible borders for its users. Indeed,
this
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world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
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 has its own language imposed to standardise the thoughts and the conduct of every person.
For example
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, in social media,
people
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 tend to behave
similarly
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 respecting the communication rules
dictate
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dictated
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 by the
internet
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,
however
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, in real
life
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life,
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 individuals tend to have their own personalities and characters.
On the other hand
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, the
internet
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 is perhaps the most visible part of globalisation because it contributes to expanding the global knowledge base and getting
people
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 and society closer.
Furthermore
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, it became possible to work in any company located abroad using the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 which impacted extremely the economy.
For instance
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, thanks to web technology,
people
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 are able to work online in their homes increasing their income and staying close to their families,
whereas
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this
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 option was impossible in the past. In conclusion, some
people
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 are frightened to become clones because of the
internet
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. I do not share the same thinking because I believe that even the
internet
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 life influence tremendously the behaviour of individuals, it will never erase the real identity of
people
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 in society.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence. This will help the reader follow your main idea better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Real-life examples will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for small mistakes, like capitalization and grammar. This helps make your writing clearer and more professional.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This shows good understanding of the task.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective.
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