shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping.

#pastime #people

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There is no denying the fact that shopping is becoming a favourite thing to do in their free

time

Use synonyms

rather than involve in other stuff. I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that youngsters

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

significant addition

Change preposition

show examples

other

things

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both

side

Fix the agreement mistake

sides

show examples

bofore

Correct your spelling

before

come

Wrong verb form

coming

show examples

to any conclusion. There are several

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

of shopping.

This

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

show examples

good

way

Use synonyms

to explore

things

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

spend coins.

Firstly

Linking Words

, young

people

Use synonyms

can enjoy their

life

Use synonyms

and remove stress about

study

Add an article

the study

a study

show examples

and other

things

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

they can spend

time

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with their

loveones

Correct your spelling

loved ones

love ones

as well they can share their

opion

Correct your spelling

opinion

opinions

, talk

aboot

Correct your spelling

about

personal

Correct pronoun usage

their personal

show examples

life

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and give importance to each other.

For instance

Linking Words

long

Correct article usage

a long

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time

Use synonyms

ago one of my

teacher

Change to a plural noun

teachers

show examples

said shopping is the best

way

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

spend

Replace the word

spending

show examples

time

Use synonyms

with

loveone

Correct your spelling

loved ones

because we can think clearly and share our feelings wisely.

Linking Words

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

young

people

Use synonyms

can explore and experience other

things

Use synonyms

likewise

Linking Words

abot

Correct your spelling

how to

sale

Replace the word

sell

show examples

, how to deal with customers and marketing only if they want to.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

if shopping is

joyful

Add an article

a joyful

show examples

thing to do with so many benefits but it

also

Linking Words

has some downsides. Young

people

Use synonyms

forget to save money and

time

Use synonyms

, which are

important

Add an article

an important

the important

show examples

lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

lessons

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

life

Use synonyms

. They take

life

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so easy they

alwasy

Correct your spelling

always

think about shopping

instead

Linking Words

of giving

contribution

Fix the agreement mistake

contributions

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

other activities. I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that for teenagers unpaid community service should be

Correct article usage

a compulsary

show examples

compulsary

Correct your spelling

compulsory

part of high school programs.

This

Linking Words

way

Use synonyms

they learn about working for

charity

Add an article

a charity

the charity

show examples

improving

Correct word choice

and improving

show examples

the

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

instead

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

show examples

just shopping . In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

do believe shopping is

excellent

Add an article

an excellent

show examples

way

Use synonyms

spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

money and

time

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but young

people

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

involve in

other day

Change the wording

another day

other days

show examples

to day important activities which are very useful for

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

themselves

Change preposition

for themselves

show examples

. It's worth

to do

Change the verb form

doing

show examples

both.

Submitted by pawanpreetkaur653 on Sat Feb 04 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that we should divide students based on their academic ability, while others think we should educate all students together. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?