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Band 5

shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping.

#pastime #people
There is no denying the fact that shopping is becoming a favourite thing to do in their free
time
 rather than involve in other stuff. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that youngsters
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 significant addition
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
things
.
This
 essay will discuss both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
bofore
Correct your spelling
before
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 to any conclusion. There are several
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of shopping.
This
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good
way
 to explore
things
,
as well as
 spend coins.
Firstly
 , young
people
 can enjoy their
life
 and remove stress about
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
 and other
things
.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 they can spend
time
 with their
loveones
Correct your spelling
loved ones
love ones
 as well they can share their
opion
Correct your spelling
opinion
opinions
, talk
aboot
Correct your spelling
about
personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
show examples
life
 and give importance to each other.
For instance
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
 ago one of my
teacher
Change to a plural noun
teachers
show examples
 said shopping is the best
way
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
time
 with
loveone
Correct your spelling
loved ones
 because we can think clearly and share our feelings wisely.
In
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 young
people
 can explore and experience other
things
likewise
abot
Correct your spelling
as
 how to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
, how to deal with customers and marketing only if they want to.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 if shopping is
joyful
Add an article
a joyful
show examples
 thing to do with so many benefits but it
also
 has some downsides. Young
people
 forget to save money and
time
, which are
important
Add an article
an important
the important
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
. They take
life
 so easy they
alwasy
Correct your spelling
always
 think about shopping
instead
 of giving
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other activities. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that for teenagers unpaid community service should be
Correct article usage
a compulsary
show examples
compulsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 part of high school programs.
This
way
 they learn about working for
charity
Add an article
a charity
the charity
show examples
,
improving
Correct word choice
and improving
show examples
 the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
instead
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 just shopping . In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do believe shopping is
excellent
Add an article
an excellent
show examples
way
 of
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 money and
time
 but young
people
 should
also
 involve in
other day
Change the wording
another day
other days
show examples
 to day important activities which are very useful for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 and
also
themselves
Change preposition
for themselves
show examples
. It's worth
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 both.
Submitted by pawanpreetkaur653 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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