IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that schools are no longer necessary because students can study well at home through the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #students #study #home #internet
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Undeniably, the
Internet
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 has proven to have numerous learning materials
and
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that
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 can be used in
students
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' studies. Despite there are thoughts posit that learners can take full advantage and effectively pursue their
study
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studies
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 online, I still believe that remote study will not lead to the complete extinction of traditional schools. It is doubtful
that
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apply
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whether the
students
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 can find all the necessary materials online.
Although
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 it seemed that the
Internet
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 is free and open to everyone, the copyright laws and regulation still acts as a barrier that prevents
students
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 from seeking references or textbooks freely.
Moreover
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, some of the online information
are
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is
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 unreliable, presented examples showed that the historical facts may be changed and in some cases, artificial intelligence including GPTs generates completely fake facts that undoubtfully misguide inexperienced
Internet
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 users
such
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 as
students
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.
Thus
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, It is questionable that
students
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 can find whatever they want and
thus
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 learn well through the
Internet
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. It is
also
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 very ridiculous to claim that conventional schools are useless solely judging by the study itself. School educa
tion
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in
 provides
further
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 more than just teaching knowledge to
students
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. Considering that school education usually involves cooperation and teamwork, a student can gradually gain knowledge in the area of social abilities and
by contrast
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, online learning usually equals an isolated, atom-like environment, that does no good to the social adaption for
the
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apply
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future life.
Although
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 it is undeniable that the growing trend of online learning exists, my view is that
the
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apply
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traditional schools will not become extinct, but in order to increase
the
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apply
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learning efficiency and improve the learning experience, a moderate combination of online learning with offline learning may be a good idea.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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