IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart provides information about how often people in the USA spent ate fast food from 2003 to 2013

The bar chart provides information about how often people in the USA spent ate fast food from 2003 to 2013
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The bar chart illustrates the consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
 in the USA between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 visited a fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurant at least once a week or one or two
times
Use synonyms
 a month. Despite that, in most cases, figures were reduced throughout the period.
To begin
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who ate junk
food
Use synonyms
 every day are less than 5% each year and figures
reduced
Add a missing verb
were reduced
show examples
 in 2013 compared to 2003.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who ate junk items once a week and several
times
Use synonyms
 a week show a similar pattern that increased from 2003 to 2006 and reduced in 2013.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the highest percentage of approximately 32% was recorded in weekly consumers in 2006, which is equal to
people
Use synonyms
 who ate at
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 in 2013 at least once or twice a month. Noticeably, the group who ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 a few
times
Use synonyms
 a year levelled off at 15% in 2006 and 2013.
Also
Linking Words
, folks who never ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 had equal values of less than 5% in 2006 and 2013.Noticeably, the group who ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 a few
times
Use synonyms
 a year levelled off at 15% in 2006 and 2013.
Also
Linking Words
, folks who never ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 had equal values of less than 5% in 2006 and 2013.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, people, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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