In mordern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occured? 2. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?
It has become more common that the amount of
time
children
spend with their families
is reduced in modern society. The trend primarily comes from a higher employment rate among women. I believe this
is a negative trend and children
should be forced to spend more time
at home so they can be more responsible as they do chores and help their families
regardless of various social skills they could learn from friends
.
The major reason why children
spend more time
with friends
and less time
with families
is a growing number of women fully employed today. In other words
, without their supervision, children
are more likely to hang out with friends
, which does not make them feel lonely. This
brings various benefits to children
and they do not need to be forced to spend with families
as they could gain essential social skills and manners such
as communication and greeting. Thus
, those who spend more time
with friends
are more likely to establish a successful relationship as they are more motivated to cooperate with one another.
On the other hand
, children
should spend more time
with families
since they are able to learn significant skills and knowledge, encouraging them to be more responsible. For instance
, children
are often expected to do multiple tasks at home from cleaning dishes to doing laundry by parents, from which they learn the importance of patience and hard work. Furthermore
, those with a regular habit of doing house chores are more independent and become respected adults when they grow up. In contrast
, those who spend more time
with friends
than families
from a younger age are more likely to commit crimes as they tend to avoid making efforts and prefer to spend an exciting and easy life.
In conclusion, the most significant reason for young adults not to spend more time
with families
is the higher rate of employment of women, which has made it easier for them to hang out with friends
to seek a more exciting time
. Moreover
, their social abilities are usually superior to those staying with families
at home. However
, they need to be forced to spend more time
with families
so they can better take care of themselves and work harder as they accomplish various housing chores.Submitted by mizuho on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
While your essay provides a reasonable response to the prompt, there is a need for more coherence in your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph has a central idea and that all sentences clearly contribute to that idea.
task achievement
Some of your main points would benefit from additional development and clarity. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which contribute to the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both parts of the question, discussing both why this change has occurred and whether parents should force their children to spend more time at home.