IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

n many countries, it is common for people to consume fast food. However, some people believe that fast food has too much influence on our lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#n #countries #people #food #influence #lifestyle #diet
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Nowadays, fast
foods
Use synonyms
 are ubiquitous,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means, a massive quantity of
junk
Use synonyms
 meals have influenced multitudinous aspects
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 modern
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 like
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 way of life and diet. I strongly agree with the earlier paradigm which will be detailed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, several countries face serious health problems like obesity after there are countless
junk
Use synonyms
 food stores
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world. To exemplify, many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
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 in the United States of America suffer
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
from this
show examples
 phenomenon because fast
foods
Use synonyms
 like burgers, pizzas, and fried
chickens
Fix the agreement mistake
chicken
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 contain huge fat.
As a result
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of people in that state
have
Change the verb form
has
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 to obtain medical
threatment
Correct your spelling
treatment
 to solve multiple effects.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government should release more budget to obliterate
previous
Change the article
the previous
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 problem which causes drifting
perspectiv
Correct your spelling
perspectives
 like the essence of healthy life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
foods
Use synonyms
 which are served as soon as possible may make people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
drop their preferences to purchase those than select good nutrition products. It happens
due to
Linking Words
 the first type of meals are able to consume by some persons like workers who never have adequate time to
wait
Add the preposition
forwait
show examples
 the food process.
Consequently
Linking Words
, those
foods
Use synonyms
 might change public choices about
beverages
Change the noun form
beverage
show examples
 needs.
Additionally
Linking Words
, meals with detrimental sides as
output
Add an article
the output
an output
show examples
 of
deep
Correct article usage
the deep
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 frying method can disturb our healthy diet. To illustrate, I got
sorethroat
Correct your spelling
sore throat
 in view of I consumed
junk
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 in elephantine frequency couple
years
Change preposition
of years
show examples
 ago. From that case, I avoid snacks which are provided with much oil or fat. In conclusion, I stand on the position that
junk
Use synonyms
 nutritions create hazardous impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our life. Some aspects like modern
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 lifestyle and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diet rule have been influenced by
foods
Use synonyms
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 made fastly.
In addition
Linking Words
, we got obesity population as
drawbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
show examples
 of
junk
Use synonyms
 food.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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