Shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping

#pastime #people

Due to

peer pressure and the influence of social media, youngsters nowadays spend excessive

time

shopping. In

this

essay, I will elucidate that

this

is a negative phenomenon and that children should indulge in other self-development activities in their free

time

. Undoubtedly, it is a fact that youngsters today face a lot of peer pressure. They give more importance to material things like branded clothes, the latest smartphones, etc. Even if it is not necessary, in order to get social acceptance, they often end up buying unwanted items. Many feel that keeping up with the latest fashion trends helps them to improve their personality.

For instance

, when a new mobile phone is launched in the market, people of the younger generation immediately buy it. Even though they have a perfectly fine phone, they are motivated to purchase a new one just to show off. Today, the world has become very competitive. In my view, rather than wasting

money

on unwanted stuff, pupils should use the same to improve their skills and develop themselves. These skills will help them to become successful in life and achieve their goals.

Moreover

, they can invest leisure

time

in playing sports or doing physical exercise.

This

will not only improve their health but will

also

save them a lot of

money

. Apart from that, one can undertake a part-

time

job.

Along with

gaining valuable practical experience, one can earn and save for the future . To exemplify, in many developed ,countries parents encourage teenagers to work part-

time

during holidays. Since these children start working at an early age, they understand the value of

money

and learn essential skills like

money

and

time

management.

To conclude

, a child should be guided and taught how to make effective use of free

time

for his or her development.

Submitted by prabhunisha0994 on Sun Feb 05 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping

Fully explain your ideas

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The following is an essay submitted by one of our students. In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?