IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles, and so on are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #aunts #uncles #child’s #upbringing #parents
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Educating
a children
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
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 is not a simple thing perhaps having some help
of
Change preposition
from
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 the family could make the process
easyer
Correct your spelling
easier
. The experience of having different people
saying
Wrong verb form
say
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 what
it
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apply
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is good or bad
on
Change preposition
for
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 a
child
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child's
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 education can make the
kid
Use synonyms
 more
acceptable
Replace the word
accepting
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 and less selfish.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 having the grandparents
exposing
Wrong verb form
expose
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 their
lifes
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life
 history can
rapdly increasi
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rapidly increase
 the
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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 knowledge. It is agreed that
familly
Correct your spelling
family
such
Linking Words
 as aunts, uncles and so on involved in the children upbringing is better. Parents can
easly
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easily
 become super protectives with their
childrens
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children
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 in a way that can make the
kid
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 selfish and egoist. It is easy to see some kids yelling
to
Change preposition
at
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 their
parentes
Correct your spelling
parents
 at the supermarket just because the parents did not buy something
as
Correct word choice
apply
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they wanted. If
this
Linking Words
kid
Use synonyms
 is exposed to someone
besides
Linking Words
 their parents saying no the probability that
this
Linking Words
kid
Use synonyms
 yells again reduces a lot. In some way having contact with grandparents is good to show the
kid
Use synonyms
a different perspectives
Correct the article-noun agreement
different perspectives
a different perspective
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 of life and its difficulties. The elderly people in general
passes
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pass
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trough
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through
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 some situations that
provides
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provide
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 knowledge which can be very rich to
a
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apply
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kid
Use synonyms
 access.
This
Linking Words
 brings conscience to the
kid
Use synonyms
when ever
Correct your spelling
whenever
show examples
 they need to decide or think about something. As mentioned the pros of having help in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
child
Change noun form
child's
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 education are much more than the cons. Different people talking with the children can make them smarter and provide them with
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
show examples
 that can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
 help in the
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
 of making life choices.
Submitted by miro.rados on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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