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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The provided bars compare the percentages of a questionnaire about society's
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea purchasing and consuming habits in different Australian
cities
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
figure
Use synonyms
 was for
people
Use synonyms
 who went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in all
cities
Use synonyms
, except Adelaide where the
figure
Use synonyms
 that reveals the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 buying instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 slightly surpassed. The highest rate among 4
cities
Use synonyms
 is for
people
Use synonyms
 who went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks with around 60% on average;
however
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
Brisbane was the lowest
figure
Use synonyms
 which is 5% smaller than
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Sydney. Despite
this
Linking Words
, only Adelaide
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was in second place. The percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who purchased instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4 week were mostly 10% smaller than the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who went to the cafe each. the remained
rete
Correct your spelling
rate
show examples
 of
people
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 who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the previous 4 weeks was the lowest among all
cities
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the difference between the lowest and highest
figure
Use synonyms
 was about 20%.
Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, figure, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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