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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The two below maps indicates the road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010

The two below maps indicates the road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010
#two #maps #road #access #city
The two below maps
indicates
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicate
show examples
 the
road
 access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010, in the following paragraphs, we are going to compare the main features between the two maps.
Overall
, we can notice that both hospital and city roads remain in the same location
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant changes happened in
public
Add an article
the public
a public
show examples
 car park,
bus
station
 and the roundabout. When it comes to
Bus
Correct article usage
the Bus
show examples
station
,
it is clear that
 it has been added to the left side of
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
road
 in 2010 as there was no
bus
station
 in 2007, but only
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
 stop area. In 2010, a roundabout has been established in the place of
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 stop point in 2007.
Furthermore
, an area for a public car park has been added to the right side of the city hospital.
A two
Correct the article-noun agreement
Two
show examples
 roundabouts
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been added
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the hospital
road
 in 2010 linked to the
Bus
station
.
Briefly
Add a comma
,Briefly
show examples
 we can describe that there are a significant number of changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
 access between 2007 and 2010.
Submitted by eng_slaah on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, bus, station with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "indicates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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