IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

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Our planet and the natural resources like air,
water
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, soil and fossil fuels available on it are valuable gifts to us which need to be preserved as these are non-renewable. The heightened demand for
water
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 has become a global issue in
this
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 age and day as it has always been a finite resource.
This
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 issue aims to explore the root causes which trigger
this
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 situation and will try to find
out
Change preposition
apply
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feasible measures to alleviate
this
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. The first and foremost problem arises with the accelerated growth of the world population which results in the excessive demand for
water
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.
Moreover
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, the introduction of the latest technology,
such
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 as dishwashers, showers and flushing toilets which
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
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 a lot of
water
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 and inaccurate use of
water
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also
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 contributes to its wastage.
For example
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, leaving the taps on
while
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 brushing or leaking taps results in a waste of
water
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. There should be the best possible steps taken
at the end
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 by both governments
as well as
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 society to mitigate
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, the government should draft and implement policies and regulations to clean the
water
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 of the river to make them enable
for consumption
Wrong verb form
it to be consumed
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 by people. They should
also
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 come up with the idea of rainwater harvesting and make separate arrangements for the supply of drinking
water
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 and
water
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 for consumption in other work.
For example
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, fresh
water
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 should be supplied for drinking
water
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,
whereas
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water
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 for agricultural use should be supplied separately. Consumers are equally responsible for bringing the regulations into force because it can be done only with the collaborative efforts of both officials and individuals.
To sum up
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, the lack of enough
water
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 supply to face a never-ending demand is now a worldwide concern. Actions must be taken to save every single drop of
water
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 on a personal basis but most importantly as a community. If governments do not address
this
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 problem immediately, consequences could be devastating for the whole of humanity.

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the causes of increased demand for fresh water and suggests measures for governments and individuals to respond to the problem. It provides a clear analysis of the root causes and offers relevant solutions, meeting the requirements of the task.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a good logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well-supported and the essay flows logically from one idea to the next. However, the use of specific examples could be improved to enhance cohesiveness.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: The essay displays a wide range of vocabulary and uses appropriate terminology related to the topic. However, it could benefit from more varied and precise vocabulary to further enhance the quality of expression.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay shows a good control of grammatical structures and uses a variety of sentence structures effectively. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and errors in sentence construction that can be improved for greater accuracy and fluency.
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