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Band 4.5

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

#people #children #phones #school
Some
people
 argue that
schools
 should prevent
children
 from using their
smartphones
 during
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
day
while
 others think that
children
 should be allowed to
use
 their
smartphones
.
People
 believe that
children
 shouldn't
use
 their
phones
 during a
school
day
due to
 the fact that it causes them distraction
thus
 they wouldn't be able to stay focused in
class
, on the other ,hand some
people
 think that it's an effective way of learning. I believe that allowing the
use
 of
smartphones
 during
class
 has a positive impact on
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 grades because
students
 would be able to learn more by learning from games
also
 the
teacher
 could do competitions and give some presents to the winners by doing that all of the
students
 would be focused in
class
. Some
people
 think that
schools
 should prevent
children
 from using their
smartphones
 during
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
day
. Using
smartphones
 in
class
 has a negative impact on the
students
due to
 the fact that it causes them a distraction and that would
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to them failing classes.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 in Saudi
Arabia
Add a comma
,Arabia
show examples
 they banned the
use
 of
phones
 in
class
 because they have noticed an increased number of
students
 failing in classes
due to
 them using their
phones
 the whole
day
 during classes.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think that
children
 should be allowed to
use
 their
smartphones
 in
school
. Using
phones
 during
class
 could be an effective way of learning, the
teacher
 can grip the
children
's attention by conveying the information through a game on their
phones
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 a friend of mine is a
teacher
 who had a hard time teaching
children
 until another
teacher
 introduced her to a new teaching technique which is teaching them through a game, after that she applied it in her
class
 and the
children
 loved it very much and
due to
 that all of them passed the
class
 with high scores.
Overall
, Some
people
 think that
schools
 should bad
children
 from using
smartphones
while
 others believe that
schools
 should allow
children
 to bring their
phones
. I believe that
children
 should
use
 their
smartphones
 during
class
 because it has a positive effect on their grades. One great suggestion would be that
schools
 could allow using
smartphones
 only when the
teacher
 asks them to do it in order to learn more effectively after that the
teacher
 could collect their
phones
 and give
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to them after the
school
day
 ends.
Submitted by lamaxb2020 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
What to do next:
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