IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think health care should be free for everyone. Other think that people should pay their medical cost themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opnion.

#people #health #care #cost #opnion
In able to acquire medical services from health care professionals and hospitals, it will cost a patient
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
an entire fortune to pay for the bills.
Therefore
, a few people reckon that everybody must receive free of charge treatment,
whereas
 certain individuals think these payments should be covered by patients.
This
 essay will shed light on both viewpoints and will be followed by an opinion.
Firstly
, not everyone should be entitled to free medical expenses, but the elderly in the community are the ones who have weaker bodies since their immune systems are deteriorating, especially at their age, so it makes sense that the government funds their medical expenses throughout their remaining lives.
In addition
, their contribution to society through working in their younger years should be rightfully compensated with all the treatments they need for their health to have a longer life.
For example
, it would be unfair to use their pension money for their monthly or annual check-up.
Thus
,
this
 group of people must be saved
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 scrutiny of bills
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 expensive medications.
On the other hand
, people who do not have health insurance are likely the group that would have to pay for their bills in the hospital
Submitted by mjdf0930 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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