Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial art, should be banned from TV as well as from international competitions. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sports #violence #art #tv #competitions

Many people believe that sports containing violence,

for

example

Add the comma(s)

,example

show examples

boxing and

martrial

Correct your spelling

martial

material

art should be banned from national television

along with

international

championship

Fix the agreement mistake

championships

show examples

due to

Correct article usage

the imoral

show examples

imoral

Correct your spelling

immoral

scene.

However

, In my opinion,

while

I admit that

such

sports are very entertaining to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sociaty

Correct your spelling

society

, I agree that they had

Correct article usage

a demaging

show examples

demaging

Correct your spelling

damaging

effect on children.

Sport

Add an article

A sport

show examples

such

as boxing and martial art has become successful business nowadays. There are so many people that pay to see their performance.

Moreover

, there is no limited age

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

allowed to watch

this

show.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

the talented player can be a celebrity and become very famous.

For example

, WWE which is

othe

Correct your spelling

the

World Wrestling Entertainment

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

people

fight

Wrong verb form

fighting

show examples

brutaly

Correct your spelling

brutally

. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the performance

are

Change the verb form

show examples

mnot

Correct your spelling

not

completely real, it will be dangerous for kids when

their

Change the pronoun

they

show examples

try

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

at home.

Ones

Correct your spelling

Once

show examples

the children

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

had

Add the particle

tohad

show examples

admire

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

superstar

Fix the agreement mistake

superstars

show examples

, they will always follow them. There are some harmful roles that they played

Change preposition

show examples

that game

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

their

punch

Replace the word

punching

show examples

each

others

Change noun form

other's

show examples

faces and

smackdown

Fix the agreement mistake

smackdowns

show examples

or even worst.

As a result

, Kids who see

this

will

copied

Change the verb form

copy

show examples

it and somehow when they get angry with their friends they tend to release their

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

show examples

through some movement which can harm others.

To conclude

although

sports entertainment

such

as boxing and martial arts were

ment

Correct your spelling

meant

Change preposition

for

show examples

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

purposes, their technique can be a motivation for someone to fight especially for children.

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television must be

thoughfful

Correct your spelling

thoughtful

to choose what program that relevant before they play it and they should exclusively

limited

Change the verb form

limit

show examples

their

audiances

Correct your spelling

audience

age.

Submitted by muh.yassirullah on Tue Feb 07 2023

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial art, should be banned from TV as well as from international competitions. To what extent do you agree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still at school. What benefits does this bring for the teenager? Are there any drawbacks?

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evening and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effect on family and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the Internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates to get better jobs. Other believe that there are much wider benefits of univertsity education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion