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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people work long hours,leaving very little time for liesure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #liesure #activities #situation
In the present age, many people spend a lot of
time
 working to earn extra
money
, so they don'
t
 have enough free
time
 to enjoy their lives. I believe that
this
 habit has more detrimental effects on society.
This
 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 trend and provide a logical conclusion. The two main drawbacks of working long
hours
 are depression and separation from your family.
Firstly
, employees with long working
hours
 don'
t
 have spare
time
 to do leisure activities like watching the latest movies and TV series, reading their favourite novels, or even doing some exercise.
In other words
, they don'
t
 have fun in their lives, and
this
 causes depression.
Secondly
, they cannot devote
time
 to their family and gradually fall apart from their parents and children, and
this
 leads to isolation.
For example
, people who work for long
hours
 always try to earn more
money
, and the happiness of a family is not their priority;
therefore
, they don'
t
 have good relationships with their family members, and sometimes they divorce their partners and children have to live in a broken home.
However
, working for a long
time
 has major benefits, like earning more
money
 and getting promoted. The more
hours
 you work, the more wealth you can earn. Specifically, it is a great opportunity for poor labourers to raise their salaries and solve their financial problems.
Likewise
, young couples can raise their income by working extra to save
money
 and reach financial stability.
Moreover
, people can get promotions by devoting extra
time
 to working and gaining high prestige in society and after that, they can have a better life.
To conclude
,
although
 working long
hours
 can have certain positive effects like higher salary and progress in working life, it has an extremely negative influence on an individual's relationship and causes distress and isolation. From my perspective, there are more drawbacks than benefits.
Submitted by Babak.ghassemi.9 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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