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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that spending a lot of money on celebrations (birthdays/weddings) is a waste of money. Others believe that it is important for the individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #celebrations #birthdays #weddings #waste #individuals #society
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In the modern era,Birthdays and
marriages
Use synonyms
 are
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 of those special days which bring joy
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
According to
Linking Words
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
generation
Add a comma
,generation
show examples
 it is
Correct article usage
a wastage
show examples
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to spend more on these occasions but
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 generation still thinks
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 their symbol of status,
whereas
Linking Words
 I think it is not important to impress
people
Use synonyms
 by wasting
money
Use synonyms
.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will discuss both views and my point of view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,nowadays,
due to
Linking Words
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 expensive
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 jobs it is very hard for
people
Use synonyms
 to earn their livelihood and these special occasions require a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on decorations,
arrangements
Correct word choice
and arrangements
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 food, so couples
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 it is a
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 of their earnings.
For example
Linking Words
, after finishing
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
, it is hard for youngsters to earn
money
Use synonyms
 for their daily expenses as of more population,they get
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 jobs. So it becomes stressful for them to arrange big
marriages
Use synonyms
 and birthday parties and they go for private and less expensive celebrations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in the previous years
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that spending a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 on their children's
marriages
Use synonyms
 shows how rich they are, which increases their importance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the old times, they used to have more sources of income and everything was affordable, so they wanted to spend their lifetime income on these special days.
For instance
Linking Words
, after watching famous
celebrities's
Remove the s
celebrities'
show examples
 big wedding celebrations,
people
Use synonyms
 wanted to get fame in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, so they think it is important for the individual as it is a symbol of status. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 reckon that a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 expenditure on
marriages
Use synonyms
 and birthdays is not necessary,
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should put
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 in their children's bank accounts as day by day it is getting hard to live in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 expensive surroundings.
To conclude
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
realizes
Correct subject-verb agreement
realize
show examples
 the importance of
money
Use synonyms
 and try to save it for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
, yet, others still
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 it is important to spend their savings on big celebrations and live in the present. In my opinion, one should consider the value of their hard earnings and should choose small and cheaper ways of
joys
Fix the agreement mistake
joy
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extravagant expenditure
  • financial stability
  • community bonding
  • lasting memories
  • cultural milestones
  • societal pressure
  • material display
  • financial strain
  • economic boost
  • region-specific goods
  • homogenous outlook
  • significant investment
What to do next:
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