Some parents believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by book reading. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
modern era, children are more declined towards electronic media which may cost them numerous health benefits. A group of people believes that
this
should be replaced with
offline
reading which makes an adolescent more mindful. I completely support and discuss
this
view in
this
essay.
Firstly
, a screen omits some hazardous light rays which carry a negative effect on the mental and physical health of a child.
This
weakens eyesight and puts pressure on the human brain,
thus
, poor eye vision and severe headaches occur.
For instance
, a survey was conducted in the USA which highlights that about 90% of the children who spend many hours playing online games and watching television, wear eyesight glasses.
Secondly
, the benefits of
offline
reading can not be denied. It helps a human being acquire knowledge and skills,
therefore
, helps him achieve mindfulness and a charismatic personality which makes him a more prominent and successful person among others.
Last
year,
for example
, the HR department in our organization prepared some statistics based on the result of various analyses. Those statistics clearly revealed that almost 70% of the high-performing staff are
offline
readers.
To conclude
, where the
offline
world has adverse effects on the growth of a juvenile, the online world always has many overwhelming advantages over it.
Submitted by arsalanfarooqned on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: