It is important for people to take riske, both in their professional lives and their personal lifes. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Firstly

, it is common sense that big risks are always associated with substantial benefits.

Therefore

, people should embrace adventure if they want more. But I do disagree with

such

logic because they simply ignore the reason and the whole movement behind it.

Secondly

, we should open our minds to figure out why people choose to take an adventure. There could be more gold waiting to be dug even in the form of personal ambition. The vital problem is that it's the situations folks grow up in that decide their choices ubiquitously rather than their consciousness.

For instance

, taking considerable peril for a person who was born into a disruptive family full of quarrels and violence in order to get out of his bad situation is necessary.

On the contrary

, there is no need for a

wealthy-family

Correct your spelling

wealthy

show examples

adult to gamble his life multiple times.

Thirdly

. From another extender perspective, The essential and unavoidable competition which brings anxiety is a fake concept made by the government or capitalism to keep labourers working. For most human beings, life is just a pile of experiences of

this

world which is full of ever-growing and objective transformation and evolution.

This

alternation movement process is a kind of cumulation

instead

of some sharp fierce bursts. Unprecedented ambiguity only emerges if people overlook daily cumulations

before

Rephrase

apply

show examples

and suddenly want to challenge with naivety.

For example

, a college graduate who tries to build a corporation from scratch with no knowledge of business principles could hardly succeed.

To conclude

, the essence of risk is the cumulation of an alternation. Keeping experience, keeping thinking, and keeping hungry for the daily-evolute world is the best way to build precaution against risks which prey in the key moments of individuals' professional lives and personal lives, or

in other words

, the best implement to take risks.

Submitted by arno2020 on Wed Feb 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure, but some of the arguments lack coherence and may be confusing to the reader.

task achievement

The essay provides a somewhat complete response to the prompt, but the arguments could be more clearly articulated and supported with relevant examples.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important for people to take riske, both in their professional lives and their personal lifes. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.”

The best way to educate children is by using the Internet in every lesson. To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making it effective for children?

More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Although more and more people use public transport, some city streets are still overcrowded with traffic. How can this problem be solved? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.