Young people today are better qualified than they were in the past. Some people argue that this is because competition for jobs is greater than it used to be. Other say that people only continued their education because the opportunities exist for them to do so. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

now is called
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an era of fiercely competitive society
therefore
, several pupils would like to get as highest qualification
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they could. There are 2 different causes that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one is percentages of
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
are more necessary than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past for being hired, another one is
due to
get the opportunities. Primarily, around two decades ago, most people were easy to access to find
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right occupation with their characters.
However
, there is
undoubt
Correct your spelling
undoubted
that people are struggling to find their jobs and even employees tend to hard to secure their jobs
as a result
, younger generations are brutally required to
better
Add a missing verb
have better
show examples
study backgrounds than others
this
is because, of the fact that most of
Add an article
the companies's
show examples
companies's
Remove the s
companies'
show examples
demend
Correct your spelling
demand
.
On the other hand
, some pupils
are keep
Change the verb form
are kept
show examples
going to their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
for having a better chance and it is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
way to make value
themselves
Change preposition
for themselves
show examples
.
Such
as the better you know, the higher position you get. Take Korea.
For example
, there are numerous parents now are spending numerous money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
insititutes
Correct your spelling
institutes
institute
for their children to have better study background than their peers
therefore
, most pupils,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have to fight with their pals on the
bettle
Correct your spelling
battle
ground,
this
is why
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
korea proportion of
sucide
Correct your spelling
suicide
is the highest in teenager group.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
, nowadays people are exposed
too
Change preposition
to too
show examples
much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
competition
due to
limit
Correct article usage
the limit
show examples
of jobs and
this
phenomenon should be prohibited so that governments need to proper solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
kind of
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
.
Submitted by wndqls1234 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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