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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some parents believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by book reading. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #tv #computer #games #book
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Some guardians argue that playing computer games and watching
TV
Use synonyms
 should be done less,
instead
Linking Words
 it should be replaced by reading
books
Use synonyms
. I personally don't think it's a good idea. To start with, I disagree because I believe some guardians think watching
TV
Use synonyms
 is not as good as reading
books
Use synonyms
 simply because they are literally limiting it to just entertainment, In
this
Linking Words
era
Add a comma
,era
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 we are living in there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of educational programs on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
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 which can help children learn
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
. In my opinion,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 better to limit them from watching too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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 entertainment programs than
having
Wrong verb form
have
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 replaced with reading.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with the development of technology most of the common
books
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 have been put into play, someone can watch or listen to a book
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as much as they can read one. There was a recent research by a
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
 research project, which was carried out in the year 2017 that proved most children learn and benefit more from educational television programs than just reading
books
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
playing
of
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apply
show examples
digital games is a beautiful way of relaxing the mind. As the saying goes "All work and no play makes John dull", recreation is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way to restart one's brain and refresh it from all the fatigue. In summary, I don't agree with the opinion of substituting watching
TV
Use synonyms
 and playing computer games with reading
books
Use synonyms
 which some parents believe is a good idea.
Submitted by alicematomola on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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