Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness.

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Nowadays many
people
Use synonyms
think
money
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important
Add a missing verb
is important
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to
life
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and they think that a lot of
money
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can change their lives.
Such
Linking Words
as
people
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that like
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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money
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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think only accumulation of
money
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and
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is an important part of
life
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to earn
money
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. Yes, it is true, because a lot of
money
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can open any door and
solved
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solve
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all problems but first of all, I believe it is not true that wealth is associated with a person’s happiness. They think if they do not earn much
money
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and they can not
by
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buy
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expensive cars or
multistorey
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multi-storey
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buildings.
On the other hand
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,
people
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can live without earning much
money
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and without thinking about expensive cars or beautiful houses. They do not think only about
money
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.
Firstly
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they think about their health and responsible work.
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Secondly
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,Secondly
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they think about their family and
and
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apply
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they will not spend their whole
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life saving
Add a hyphen
life-saving
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money
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.
For
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example
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,example
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they earn some
money
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for one day.
Such
Linking Words
money
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enough
Add a missing verb
is enough
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for one day
For instance
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
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would agree that the residents of developing countries feel much more
pleasurable
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pleased
show examples
in
life
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.
As a result
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, they spend their lives like
this
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. Citizens can live without much
money
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and
this
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is not bad. Residents live well without much
money
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.
Moreover
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, having good health and a peaceful
life
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brings
people
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great satisfaction.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promoting happiness
  • Essential factors
  • Financial stability
  • Material wealth
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Contentment
  • Basic needs
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Social connections
  • Pursuing passions
  • Well-being
  • Mental health
  • Spiritual practices
  • Personal growth
  • Community service
  • Societal contribution
  • Philanthropy
  • Joy
  • Satisfaction
  • Prosperity
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