IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qualification for successful work?

#employers #value #people #skills #qualifications #qualification #work
Although
 it is crucial for employees to be able to socialize well , especially with customers, it should not be underestimated that some jobs need related qualifications, as well.
To
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my point of view being both sociable and qualified
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 needed to fulfil most of the jobs nowadays. As far as knowledge and experience
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 concerned, some jobs do need specialities.
For instance
, if you want to take the chance to work as a doctor you should have a degree from a university, that you have been trained as a doctor and are qualified. Regarding
this
 issue, the higher the rank of the university you studied in, the more chance you have to get better job offers.
Furthermore
, being qualified and having experience
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a special subject are crucial to some employers and they would not take the risk of inexperienced staff, since it may endanger their credit and respect. Being able to socialize with others plays a pivotal role in everyone's life these days, especially if you want to take a job which is based on
this
 quality. Salesmen or online customer
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
,
for example
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to talk and persuade customers, whether to buy their products or reassure them, that they will have good service, as support for their goods, So having an extroverted personality could be the matter of winning or losing the chance to move up the career ladder in any kind of job. In conclusion, I completely agree with the idea that employees should have special qualities
such
 as being sociable and
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 in all fields they are going to work in, and none of which is more important than another one.
Submitted by bakhti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more diversively to enhance readability and engagement. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more dynamic.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, it might be beneficial to explore the counter-argument in more depth. Mentioning and rebutting opposing viewpoints could provide a more rounded perspective on the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting clear arguments for the importance of both social skills and qualifications.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows good logical structure, with a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a succinct conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: