Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

In the previous decades, as
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
stone and the middle ages, people used to do more physical activity since the fact that they had no innovations as nowadays which allow working and doing other convenient things from the house.
However
, today individuals can use technologies’ benefits and even not
walking
Wrong verb form
walk
show examples
out of the room. I am a strong advocate of the opinion that
this
lifestyle totally destroys people’s state and leads to hazardous consequences. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will highlight the
issues
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which the population face
due to
this
. The main reason why I am in favour of the approach that
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle has a knock-on effect on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society in general and on individuals personally
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
issues
. People worldwide struggle with
such
problems as obesity, lack of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
muscle mass and spinal diseases. The wide-spreading of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brand-new technologies became one of the vital causes of these.
Instead
of going to the gyms or doing other exercises like having a stroll or jogging, which may have a positive effect on their organism status, both
matures
Change the verb form
mature
show examples
and immatures prefer going for doing something entertaining at the house - watching TV, scrolling phone or reading. There occurred a possibility of distant working and freelance jobs, and
that is
why procrastination has a major influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens,
thus
restricting their physical activity. One possible action to deal with
this
tendency is to start educational lectures for the children to prevent
issues
in the future.
This
way the treatment finance question will be managed too,
due to
the vast amount of money
that is
spent on tackling health problems, which becomes a serious obstruction for a population. I believe that if the psychological part is involved too, it will result in a more successful completion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since there is
also
an emotional aspect. Precautionary measures and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
with a specialist for managing the aftereffects are
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
essential components of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society’s well-being. All things considered,
seated
Correct article usage
a seated
show examples
style of acting leads to irreparable health
issues
and
thus
entailing
Wrong verb form
entails
show examples
repercussions
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
unstability
Correct your spelling
instability
and mental breakdown. I reckon that to avoid these, preclusive movements are the best way. If people make an appropriate effort in the beginning,
then
the result will not have
such
a negatory tone on the population.
Submitted by libranefertiti93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical inactivity
  • health problems
  • weight gain
  • obesity
  • energy levels
  • chronic illnesses
  • mental health
  • productivity
  • focus
  • social isolation
  • exercise
  • physical fitness
  • active lifestyle
  • health benefits
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • leisure activities
  • regular physical activity
  • physical exercise
  • cardiovascular health
  • strength training
  • flexibility
  • endurance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: