The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The given diagram features the process of

sugar

manufacturing using

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

. As the document shows, there are 7 stages to

create

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

. From the first step to the second step, human

labors

Change the spelling

labours

show examples

are the sufficient point of planting. Compare to those previous steps, the rest of

steps

Correct article usage

the steps

show examples

are mostly required for machines to change the plants to

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

. Analysing each process in short,

the first step is

planting

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

for 12 to 18 months. And

then

the worker should harvest them. After finishing the harvest, machines take

Correct article usage

the

show examples

role of making juices by crushing

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

. The juice will be purified by

limestone

Correct article usage

a limestone

show examples

filter and for making it

Change preposition

into

show examples

the form of syrup,

Correct article usage

an evaportator

show examples

evaportator

Correct your spelling

evaporation

is asked for

this

process.The syrup from

juice

Correct article usage

the juice

show examples

would be changed one time more to the different type using centrifuges which isolate

sugar

crystals. After the stage of making the liquid

Change preposition

into

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

solid, the

sugar

should be needed for drying and cooling down. By going through those several processes, the

sugar

cane becomes the real

sugar

which we use

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

in our kitchen.

Submitted by ruanmystic on Wed Feb 08 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

182 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture. Others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and a lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.