Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

Competition

among

children

has been appreciated in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent times as people feel it can maximize their potential

while

some reckon that co-operation is the key to success. I feel that both views have their own pros and cons respectively. To initiate with, watching another student get better marks than you when you tried your best to study hard can be extremely demotivating for some and make them accept defeat in a very cruel way. Though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it might prove to have an improvement in some

children

but

competition

can bring a sense of jealousy between students which can impact their relations and

are

Wrong verb form

show examples

unhealthy for their age groups. On the other side,

co-operating

Correct your spelling

cooperating

show examples

with others has a lot of merits with it being extremely beneficial in the future and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

healthy

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

between

children

without any sense of jealousy.

Additionally

, it helps in improving a student's weaknesses when they know they can

rely

Add the preposition

onrely

uponrely

show examples

and ask their partner or a friend frankly without any

competition

involved. I feel that

co-operating

Correct your spelling

cooperating

show examples

is a much better strategy than asking

children

to compete aggressively and 'get better marks' than their classmates.

Furthermore

competition

can create a belief among the

children

that they cannot score more once they have tried their best and

that is

their peak which is absolutely wrong.

Moreover

, co-operating helps when

children

have to work together in teams and it produces a much better result than

competition

among the team. In conclusion, though

children

are asked to compete with their mates and be better than them, it is not the right strategy to deal with a child.

Furthermore

, a child should be allowed to develop

along with

their friends and not against them.

Submitted by mandydhingra786 on Wed Feb 08 2023

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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