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Band 7.5

The charts below shows the propertion of the energy produced from different sources in a country between 1985 and 2003

The charts below shows the propertion of the energy produced from different sources in a country between 1985 and 2003
#propertion #energy #sources #country
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Two pie charts illustrate the information on the
energy
Use synonyms
 produced from six different resources in a country in the
years
Use synonyms
 1985 and 2003. The figures are given in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be seen from the charts that
oil
Use synonyms
 is the most used
energy
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 compared
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 other renewable is used the less in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
. Apparently, the proportion of
oil
Use synonyms
 takes responsibility for the most
energy
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 country,
both
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and 2003 for 52% and 39% respectively.
According to
Linking Words
oil
Use synonyms
 data, the
oil
Use synonyms
 used declined by 11%.
Although
Linking Words
 natural gas,coal and nuclear occupy nearly half of all consumed
energy
Use synonyms
 in two
years
Use synonyms
,there have different proportions in
both
Use synonyms
 charts -in 1985 is 13%, 8% and 22%
while
Linking Words
 in 2003 is 23%,22% and 8% respectively.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 is occupied the less but the percentage of
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 increased from 1% to 4%. Meanwhile, hydro
energy
Use synonyms
 remains stable at 4%.
Submitted by k.kamonkan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, years, oil, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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