Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
There are many activities that young
people
do in their leisure time, one
of the most Correct word choice
and one
favored
is shopping. Change the spelling
favoured
This
essay will try to describe what is the cause of this
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
However
, writer
believes that socializing with friends or doing physical Add an article
the writer
activity
should be encourage
more Change the verb form
be encouraging
be encouraged
to
Change preposition
for
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
.
To begin
with, young people
likes to go to the shopping mall or other store because they influenced
by celebrities or Add a missing verb
are influenced
other popular brand
. Change the wording
another popular brand
other popular brands
In addition
to that, many popular brands nowadays offering
many discounts and choices of products that can easily Wrong verb form
offer
attracts
Change the verb form
attract
people
’s attention. There are so many advertisements going around in
social media or in the street, that really easy to be seen by many Change preposition
on
people
. Another important reason why youth like to go shopping is the pleasure to have the latest of
technology or trend. Change preposition
apply
This
behavior
makes Change the spelling
behaviour
they
like Correct pronoun usage
them
go
going around in their free time, just to explore what is the latest trend these days.
Even though shopping may be an enjoyable Fix the infinitive
to go
activity
, youth these days should be encourage
Change the verb form
be encouraging
be encouraged
more
to do Correct quantifier usage
apply
more
useful Add an article
a more
the more
activity
that can improve their skill or health. Fix the agreement mistake
activities
For example
, doing physical activity
like doing sport or gym might develop their health. Another choice of activity
is joining a community or doing
volunteer that might develop their social skill Unnecessary verb
apply
as well as
communication
skill.
In conclusion, the main reason why youth nowadays like to go shopping in their free time is Add an article
a communication
because
there are so many advertisements from brands Replace the word
that
until
celebritiesCorrect word choice
and
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
offering many discounts, and also
their
Replace the word
there
needed
to access the latest Replace the word
need
of
technology. Change preposition
apply
However
, they should encourage to do different
advantageous Add an article
a different
activity
like doing some sport or joining Fix the agreement mistake
activities
community
to do Add an article
the community
a community
a
self-development, to raise their value.Correct article usage
apply
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Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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