IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.

The line graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.
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The line graph illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of people who listened to
Use synonyms
radio
Add an article
the radio
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 or watched television throughout the
day
Use synonyms
 in
period
Add an article
the period
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 between October and November in 1992. Percentage shows the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of people over 4 years old.
Overall
Linking Words
, television is a more popular choice among the British population.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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at
Change preposition
in
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 the morning people mostly prefer
Use synonyms
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
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,
evening
Add an article
the evening
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 TV audience is twice as big.
Night time
Correct your spelling
Nighttime
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 is the least active period during the
day
Use synonyms
 for both
radio
Use synonyms
 and TV. With regards to the
radio
Use synonyms
, the
day
Use synonyms
 usually started with nearly zero activity from 1 a.
m
Use synonyms
 to 5 a.
m
Use synonyms
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Then
Linking Words
,
line
Correct article usage
the line
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 rose rapidly to the peak of approximately 25% of the UK population at 8 a.
m
Use synonyms
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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 After that, the audience started to slowly
decreasing
Change the verb
decrease
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 with a little fluctuation to hit a low of nearly 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
day
Use synonyms
. On the opposite,
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
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 audience was quite small not only at night, but
also
Linking Words
 in the morning, remained relatively stable at approximately 5% from 1 a.
m
Use synonyms
. to 11 a.
m
Use synonyms
., but
then
Linking Words
 started to grow steadily till reaching the highest point of nearly 45% at 9 p.
m
Use synonyms
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words radio, day, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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