IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it is better to take part in team sports, while others believe that individual sports are better. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #part #team #sports
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It is better to concentrate on single sport
instead
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 of participating in multiple
sports
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. There are many sportsmen who has mastered in
one
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 particular
sports
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 and some has performed in multiple ones. In the essay below we will discuss both the views with example and provide my opinion
at the end
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 of the passage. First and foremost, there are many instances where people concentrated on single
sports
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 and become very successfull.
For example
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 :- Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Sachin Tendulkar started their journey as cricketers and devoted their complete life in learning skills in the same profession, with
this
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, they not only earn lot of money but
also
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 became most popular cricketers of the century.
Therefore
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, in order to grow in life
one
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 should work on particular skill and master that, which will always help individual to get best in his career.
However
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, there are few others who has
also
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 proven that they can
also
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 achieve best out of life
while
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 participating in different
sports
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.
For instance
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 :- AB De Villiers the South African cricketer
initially
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 started his career as baseball player
then
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 played rugby and
lastly
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 ended up his career as cricketer, in all the three fields he has performed remarkably well and got fame from all over the world. So, it is more important to participate in all the fields wherever
one
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 is getting the opportunity with his full strength and potential in order to achieve best.
To conclude
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,
one
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 should choose single sport as it would have limited number of skills that individual have to learn, which can be studies and mastered in a less span of timey.
Moreover
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, there is a saying that, "Jack of all, master of none" which means that you might know multiple skills but your are not best in anyone of them, so I would go with single skill and master that.
Submitted by sd.lamba on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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