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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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Having a home is becoming more popular in many parts of the world these days.
This
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 essay will examine the causes related to
this
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 tendency. There are a variety of different causes for
this
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 matter.
To begin
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 with, people who have their own
house
Use synonyms
 do not need to spend a number of money to pay for an apartment. I had almost twenty years of living far away from my family
due to
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 my
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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. The number of money that I had to pay for my apartment was big enough for me to buy a small
house
Use synonyms
 to live
.
Change preposition
in.
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 Another contributing factor to mention is that people do not want to move from place to place but they want to have a permanent residence.
For example
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, during twenty years of renting
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
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, I experienced many times
of
Change preposition
apply
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moving
Use synonyms
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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. It was very
tired
Replace the word
tiring
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.
However
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, in spite of these negative effects, owning a home can bring about important benefits. One obvious advantage is that it shows
community’s
Correct article usage
the community’s
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 level of life. If we want to buy a
house
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, we must have a big money. If everyone can buy a
house
Use synonyms
 for themselves, it means their level of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 not low. Another positive effect is that we can do whatever we want for our
house
Use synonyms
such
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 as painting, repairing or even
expansion
Replace the word
expanding
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. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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, I need one more room for my baby. I can
expanse
Replace the word
expand
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 it freely, which I am not allowed to do if I
rend
Change the form of the verb
rent
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house
Use synonyms
. OR In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential benefits of having our own home are more worthwhile than the possible dangers issues.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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