Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Many
people
choose to leave their hometowns to live in big
cities
. That condition makes
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
full of only
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
.
This
essay will try to elaborate about what are the reasons behind
this
problem, and provide solutions
at the end
.
To begin
with,
youthful
Replace the word
youth
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
always full of energy, and as they grow up, they demand many products or needs like their friends. To
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
their needs, of
course
Add the comma(s)
,course
show examples
they need to earn more money,
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
in the
village
does not seem good for them, so in pursuing
carrier
Correct article usage
a carrier
show examples
, they choose to move to big
cities
.
Moreover
,
cities
provied
Correct your spelling
provide
provided
various carrier options, so
people
can choose whatever they like and
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
show examples
for them. The second reason,
cities
already expand
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
technology
Change to a plural noun
technologies
show examples
that cannot be found in the
village
.
This
condition,
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
many
youthful
Replace the word
youth
show examples
to experience
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and eventually get immersed
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
that. To prevent young
people
leaving
Change preposition
from leaving
show examples
the
village
,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
must
evelate
Correct your spelling
evaluate
elevate
the
technology
in the
village
, and
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
or
reconstruction
Replace the word
reconstruct
show examples
the
village
, so it will make the
village
more pleasant for young
people
. Providing various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
jobs, and
elevate
Wrong verb form
elevating
show examples
the
economis
Correct your spelling
economy
also
become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
options.
This
will make young
people
experience many kinds of jobs without leaving their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. In conclusion, to prevent more youthful leaving their
village
,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
must
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
set the
village
to youthful liking,
while
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology
to come to the
village
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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