IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

#people #countryside #town #situation
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to leave their hometowns to live in big
cities
Use synonyms
. That condition makes
Use synonyms
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
 full of only
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will try to elaborate about what are the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 problem, and provide solutions
at the end
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
youthful
Replace the word
youth
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 always full of energy, and as they grow up, they demand many products or needs like their friends. To
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their needs, of
course
Add the comma(s)
,course
show examples
 they need to earn more money,
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in the
village
Use synonyms
 does not seem good for them, so in pursuing
carrier
Correct article usage
a carrier
show examples
, they choose to move to big
cities
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
cities
Use synonyms
provied
Correct your spelling
provide
provided
 various carrier options, so
people
Use synonyms
 can choose whatever they like and
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
show examples
 for them. The second reason,
cities
Use synonyms
 already expand
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
Use synonyms
technology
Change to a plural noun
technologies
show examples
 that cannot be found in the
village
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 condition,
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
 many
youthful
Replace the word
youth
show examples
 to experience
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and eventually get immersed
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that. To prevent young
people
Use synonyms
leaving
Change preposition
from leaving
show examples
 the
village
Use synonyms
,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 must
evelate
Correct your spelling
evaluate
elevate
 the
technology
Use synonyms
 in the
village
Use synonyms
, and
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 or
reconstruction
Replace the word
reconstruct
show examples
 the
village
Use synonyms
, so it will make the
village
Use synonyms
 more pleasant for young
people
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. Providing various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
jobs, and
elevate
Wrong verb form
elevating
show examples
 the
economis
Correct your spelling
economy
also
Linking Words
 become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
options.
This
Linking Words
 will make young
people
Use synonyms
 experience many kinds of jobs without leaving their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. In conclusion, to prevent more youthful leaving their
village
Use synonyms
,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 must
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
set the
village
Use synonyms
 to youthful liking,
while
Linking Words
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 to come to the
village
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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