IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

🔶More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. 🔸What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

#🔶more #people #food #🔸what
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, it is surprising that
people
 are concentrating on their health. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 prefer to lead a healthy life by doing
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
fitness activities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they know the idea of being healthier. Few
people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not wish to concentrate on their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
 statement. Let us discuss the reason behind the advantage of workout and
potray awarness
Correct your spelling
portray awareness
 among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lazy
people
 to try their best outcomes. There are several reasons,
that
Correct word choice
why
show examples
 many
people
 might
interested
Change the verb form
interest
show examples
 to do physical activities on daily basis. First of all, If you are willing to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
, for that you need to take a
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
 diet, it has a lot of benefits. As we know that
protiens
Correct your spelling
proteins
 are known as
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
 blocks of muscles,
Moreover
 eating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy food brings you
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive energy to face illness. Food is the essential source for our body and there are lost foods like
junks
Fix the agreement mistake
junk
show examples
 and which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 inorganic, but we have to take a decision whether we are consuming
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 meal or not. Another important reason is to stay healthy for a longer period of time.
By doing
Change preposition
Doing
show examples
 regular workouts which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to increase
as well as
 fight against pathogens which cause the disease. after
workout
Correct article usage
the workout
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
show examples
session
Add a comma
,session
show examples
 we can clearly see that our respiratory system improves a lot
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in the past.
Likewise
Add a comma
,Likewise
show examples
 lot of changes
occurs
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
 in our body if
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 concentrate on
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
. In conclusion, Leading a healthy life keeps you motivated throughout your life and makes you bold enough to fight against
disease
Add an article
the disease
show examples
.
Submitted by santosh2001kk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: