IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that government should decide what subjects a student can study, while other believe the students should decide what they want to study.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #subjects #student #study #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
More individuals believe the administration should determine subjects for the pupils but other's think that apprentices will choose their own.
Although
Linking Words
 there is numerous logic in both views
however
Linking Words
 I agree with the latter statement and I am going to explain
further
Linking Words
 in my upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
,There are innumerable factors to believe why the authority should keep only a few topics and allow trainees to study those only.The first and foremost reason is to create a highly skilled generation to build a strong economical condition. .
Therefore
Linking Words
,Govt. has to concentrate more on tech. related topics
such
Linking Words
 as computer science in schools and universities.
For Example
Linking Words
,China stopped traditional education and introduced vocational training to produce a skilled generation
hence
Linking Words
 we can see China having billions of skilled people and
consequently
Linking Words
 the largest economy in the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, To reduce the cost of money in the education sector and invest the money in other sectors.
For instance
Linking Words
,There are less important matters
such
Linking Words
 as arts and culture where govt. has to subsidize.
As a result
Linking Words
,the students who study
this
Linking Words
 can not contribute to the economy directly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,People believe authority should not interfere in the individual's interest regarding their personal matters.
Firstly
Linking Words
,The cardinal reason is that education is the first priority of any student and they have full right to study whatever they want to.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,It is against their freedom.
For example
Linking Words
,There was a lot of protest in
this
Linking Words
 matter in Bangladesh after the Movie''three idiots'' was made.
Secondly
Linking Words
,Students should choose the subjects with merits and own credibility.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, it impacts them negatively.To illustrate, a student who is interested in the painting subject may be not interested in lab work.
Therefore
Linking Words
,the actual potential will not be flourished.
Consequently
Linking Words
,The student will suffer emotionally and it may create depression among students.
To conclude
Linking Words
,Even though Govt. has planned of creating a strong economy in a short time by the skilled generation with limited educational choices,It is obvious that only after having full freedom and proper choice of subjects they will be more confident and expert
hence
Linking Words
 a real educated nation will be created.
Submitted by gaiom.abdullah2014 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: