IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team Do the adventages outweigh the disadventages ?

#companies #people #ages #work #team #adventages #disadventages
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These days it is becoming a common trend that old and young aged collaborate with each other in firms as a team. I totally agree that positives are more than negatives in
this
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 essay,
i
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I
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 will discuss and give the reason to appear that working various ages with each other in firms has more benefits. On the one hand,
anevident
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an evident
evident
 benefit is that younger can benefit from the recommendations of older ones.The aged
staffhas
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staff has
 a lot of skills and
experiences
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experience
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 so
he
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they
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 can guide and teach the apprentice. If the novice again job
imprement
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improvement
,the
company
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 will raise output.
Hence
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 the youth will gain more wages.
For example
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,the skilful leadership instruct the inexpert personnel
how
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on how
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 to use
Use synonyms
company's
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the company's
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machinary
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machinery
.
Hence
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, the young staff learn how to improve and climb to the top of the career leader
consequently
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theunskilfulpersonal
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the unskilful personal
 has a promotion prospect in his job and
company
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 will progress satisfactorily.
On the other hand
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,one major drawback is the conflict
of
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between
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 the
senior
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seniors
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 and
junior
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juniors
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utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern techniques.
For instance
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,a milk producer
company
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 in Iran closed for six
month
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months
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due to
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the
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a
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 disagreement between the young and the old aged staff.
Although
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age
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aged
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 staff has leadership skills ,they do not have enough information about modern techniques and high-tech
machinaries
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machineries
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
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 they hold
differinf
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different
differing
 opinions. In conclusion,
although
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 collaboration of various ages has a
drowback
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drawback
such
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 as conflict
of
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between
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 the senior and the junior ,
i
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I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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thet
Correct your spelling
that
 the benefit like giving a recommendation and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advice to
novice
Fix the agreement mistake
novices
show examples
 outweigh its downside.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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