Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #centers #effect #youths #society

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Most of the younger generation like spending their free

time

in shopping malls. I personally believe

that is

harmful to do so. In

this

essay, the topic will be elaborated a particular opinion will be provided. Undoubtedly, we are living in a capitalist

time

and a lot of adolescents want to spend their

time

at a shopping mall.

In addition

, they waste not only their

time

but

also

their

parents

' money.

Nevertheless

, there are solutions for youngers.

Instead

this

, the children can go to old people and help them or they can read some book. These things would be giving more benefits and they could use the knowledge in

further

education or have discussions with old people.

For instance

, my best friend read an economics book, when his friends went to the shopping mall. A person who reads books is supposed to be a wise person. As the result. He had gotten the highest marks in the final exam and he got admission to the university.

Nonetheless

, his friends did not get enough scores for university and they went to work.

Additionally

, we should care about our old

parents

, because

this

help is vital for our

parents

. If we help them, they will be satisfied. Because our

parents

have hard work and they need our help.

For example

, when I do not give a hand to my mom or dad. They tell me, I wish I did have my son help me and they have an upset mood. These detrimental things have a bad impact on my

parents

Hence

, we need to help them and our

parents

will be glad.

To sum up

, I firmly agree with the above statement. It has a bad impact on youth and society. Adolescents could miss a lot of vital benefits and waste money on useless things.

Submitted by danyukvitaliy2015 on Thu Feb 09 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Consumer culture
Materialism
Youth culture
Commercialization
Passive consumption
Social conformity
Economic stimulation
Financial literacy
Sedentary behavior
Local enterprises
Cultural enrichment
Intellectual stimulation
Alternative pastimes
Community engagement
Peer influence
Escapism

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