Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In the present age, whether economic development is more significant than educational, scientific or cultural progress has sparked much debate. The majority assert that the whole focus must be on economic advancement
whereas
some people claim that other types of improvement should not be forgotten. In my opinion, the emphasis on education, culture and other fields contributes to a thriving state even more than the
economic growth.
Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, in the
modern times economics has become a fundamental basis of every aspect of our Correct article usage
apply
living
. More specifically, Replace the word
lives
health
care system, life span, transportation or Correct article usage
the health
cultural
, Replace the word
culture
as well as
technological development mostly depends
on Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
the
prosperity as all the areas mentioned require financial investment. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, if the governments of the USSR and the USA hadn‘t supported scientific investigations during the Cold War, these countries wouldn‘t have been the first ones to travel in space. Broadly speaking, focusing on economics means gaining resources for medicinal, infrastructural or technological improvement which can take country‘s
state to the next level.
Correct article usage
the country‘s
On the other hand
, having focused on the economic increase many authorities neglect other key areas contributing to country‘s
well-being, Correct article usage
the country‘s
such
as education. Essentially, education shapes people‘s character, verities, as well as
mindset which all create a true face of a nation. For instance
, the more inhabitants are aware of possible health risks and processes how
lack of movement Correct word choice
and how
affect
our body and nervous system, the more of them tend to undertake more physically demanding activities in their daily routine. Change the verb form
affects
As a result
, if the knowledge and comprehension are widespread, more innovative and wiser ideas or possibilities open up.
To sum up
, the
economic performance is Correct article usage
apply
top
authority’s priority globally as it stimulates Correct article usage
the top
the
improvement in various fields, including science, medicine Correct article usage
apply
or
transport. Correct word choice
and
However
, I feel convinced that other types of advancement is
the true reflection of Change the verb form
are
nation‘s
mentality.Correct article usage
a nation‘s
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task achievement
The essay does a good job of addressing both views and providing a clear opinion. However, try to include more detailed explanations and examples to thoroughly support your points. Further elaboration on the interrelationship between economic progress and other forms of progress could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some sentences could be clearer. Attempt to use varied sentence structures for a more engaging read. Additionally, better transitions between paragraphs could enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is well-written and sets up the essay clearly by stating both sides of the argument and presenting your own opinion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument without introducing new ideas.
logical structure
Logical structure is generally well-maintained, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.