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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries.

The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries.
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The tables depict the amount of annual
consumption
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 of beer and
fruit
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juice
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 for each individual in different nations.It
clear
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is clear
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 from the tables that Ireland and Canada have the highest yearly
consumption
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 of beer and
fruit
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juice
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 respectively.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,Germany and Austria are in the second position of the order with annual
consumption
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 at 119
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liters
Change the spelling
litres
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 and 106
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liters
Change the spelling
litres
show examples
 respectively.Meanwhile,Finland
have
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has
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 the least yearly
consumption
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 at 79
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liters
Change the spelling
litres
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,Canada
consuming
Wrong verb form
consumes
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 about 52.6
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liters
Change the spelling
litres
show examples
 of
fruit
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juice
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 per year.
While
Linking Words
,
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apply
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the United States have a significant
consumption
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 of
fruit
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juice
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 after Canada at 42.8
Use synonyms
liters
Change the spelling
litres
show examples
.New Zealand
have
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has
show examples
 the least
consumption
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 of
fruit
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juice
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 at 24.8
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liters
Change the spelling
litres
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that all the countries have the least
consumption
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 of
fruit
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juice
Use synonyms
 than beer.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, fruit, juice, liters with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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