IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many peopl work for long hours ,leaving very little time

These days working for long
hours
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 has been a major issue for
people
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due to
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 the fact that they have little
time
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 to do leisure activities .Working for long
hours
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 has many
disadvantages
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 and advantages
such
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 as the amount of
money
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 that comes from working overtime
on the other hand
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 it can lead to burnout. ,
Currently
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,Currently
show examples
people
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 tend to stay at work for long
hours
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 to get paid extra
money
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.Some
people
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 prefer to exchange their
time
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 with
money
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 because they believe that
money
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 is more important than anything else.Working for long
hours
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 can affect human relationships with
people
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due to
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 the fact that the
person
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 spends all of his
time
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 at work
thus
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 he would not be able to spend
time
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 with his friends and family and that could result in losing relationships over
time
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thus
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 it can lead to having depression because of the isolation. Burnout is a major effect that could be caused
due to
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 working long
hours
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 .The human
body
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 could be harmed when the
person
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 overworks it
,
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apply
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because the brain could not function all day without resting.The lack of sleep and continuous working for long
hours
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 could affect the
person
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's health over the years ,The psychological effects could lead to physiological on the future. The
disadvantages
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 outweigh the
disadvantages
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 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 could lead to permanent effects on the human
body
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. In conclusion,
People
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 tend to work for long
hours
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 in order to get paid more
on the other hand
Linking Words
 working for long
hours
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 can harm the human
body
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.The
disadvantages
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 of working long
hours
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 outweigh the advantages since it could affect the
person
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's
body
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 permanently over the years.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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