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Writing Samples
Band 7

the pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the us between 1988 and 2000. summarise the information and comparing

the pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the us between 1988 and 2000. summarise the information and comparing
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Three
Use synonyms
 pie charts and a table illustrate the information on imported
fish
Use synonyms
 between 1988 and 2000 - the table shows the total
value
Use synonyms
 of billions of
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 in
three
Use synonyms
 different years
while
Linking Words
 the
three
Use synonyms
 pie charts show the source of
fish
Use synonyms
 imported to the US.
Overall
Linking Words
, It can be seen from the data that the total imported
value
Use synonyms
 in the year 2000 is the highest
while
Linking Words
, in 1988 is the lowest.
Moreover
Linking Words
,It is noticeable that Canada is the most source of imported
fish
Use synonyms
 to the US in 1988 but other sources exceed to occupy most of both years. In 1988, the
value
Use synonyms
 of
fish
Use synonyms
 imported to the US is 6.57 billion Dollars, the lease of
three
Use synonyms
 years and
then
Linking Words
 the imported
value
Use synonyms
 increased gradually to 8.52 and 10.72 billion Dollars in 1992 and 2000 respectively. Interestingly,
although
Linking Words
 imported
fish
Use synonyms
 from Cannada occupy the most proportion of sources is 60% in 1988, In 1992 and 2000 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exceeded other sources.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, fish, value with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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